Thursday, December 24, 2009

Diary.. I never ask to be like this.

Last weekend, I went to my grandma house. At my grandma house, there are a lot of cats. Mokhsin, Orked, Ujang, Laura, Ucuk, Pompom, Lanun, and 2 other cats that I forgot their name. You know diary, I afraid of cats. It doesn’t mean that I dislike cat. I like cat. But I scared. One night, when I was talking to my sis, my cousin put kitten at my knee. Because of shocked, I scream. Hehe. I almost cried. My aunties scold my cousin. Haha. You deserved that!

But my aunty said something that makes me cried.
she said, “dah besar2 pon takut kucing??harap badan jer godang!”
because of that, I became angry. I said, “bukan takot kucing, tapi takut kang sakit.kalo sakit tgh2 mlm kang nak ke tlg hntar g hospital???”
I hate her!! You will know how I feel when your son sick! Like me!

I want to tell you diary, I’m asthmatic. That’s why I afraid of cat. I had asthma before I enter kinder garden. I never ask to have it. Never!
You know diary, sometimes I feel that it was a burden to my family to support me on my treatment and medicines. This makes me think that I want to run away, continue my life alone. Fool isn’t it? Too many money was spend to buy my medicine. Before this, when asthma attack, my dad will bring me to 24hours clinic by bicycles (since that the only vehicles that we have at that time), whether night or day. Can you imagine it? I always cried because I know I give a burden to my family. Only few years back, my asthma became more ok. Why? Because my doctor at the 24hours clinic transferred my case to hospital (sbb byk kali sgt dtg dlm 1 hr. smpai dia tak larat layan. Haha). And then from that day until now, I became regular and loyal patient to paediatrics unit. Have an appointment every 6months or 5 months. Sometimes I feel shy to go there. My favourite doctors that always treat me retired already. I miss her. She gives a lot of motivation to me. I can be whatever I want although I sick. But I keep on thinking… did I need to depend on medicine to make me easier to enjoy my life? Did I need to go to paediatrics units until I die? I don’t know.. ;(


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